Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Baby, It's Warm Outside

Oh shit. Here it comes. The first real heat of the season.

Technically it's still spring until 21 June, the first day of summer on the calendar. Yet, the upcoming weekend is supposed to be bringing us a July-August preview, as it's said it could reach 90°+ for the weekend. I didn't want to say it - but - in super-technical meteorologist lingo, that's considered a heat wave.

Some of you will be lovin' it. I won't. The heat is my kryptonite.

Don't get me wrong - I loooooove the fine weather! However, much like Julio Lugo, I just can't cope with the 'high-heat'.

So tonight I thought I'd start working on the ol' central air-conditioning system to get the house primed for the scorching weekend. How's it working out, you ask? I'm sweating my Motha'uckin nuts off! That's how.

When I arrived home about 4:30 today the ambient indoor temperature was 75°F. After more than five hours with the C-A/C running the temperature is currently a cool.... 75°F. No shit.

It's likely that I'm not setting the NASA-regulated operating panel appropriately. But shouldn't setting the temperature LOWER (much lower) than the ambient temperature get the thing kick-started? That's how my old system worked - and that was only heat. No central-air. Set it a few degrees higher than ambient? Heat comes on. Set it a few lower? Yup. Heat goes off. Simple, innit?

Now I've got it set to the minimum - 45°F. I'm leaving it at that setting overnight. Maybe it will take some time to remove the residual heat from the square footage. To suck out all the heat. Mmmmm...

I'm hoping I wake up in the middle of the night, my teeth chattering, my David Bowie Nipple Antennae shredding my T-shirt and sheets whilst still sending 'dah-ta back to earth', and reach for the down comforter next to the bed. If not, something's not functioning properly. And - last time I checked - the antennae are in working order.

I've been perusing the instruction manual throughout the evening and I'm still baffled. Here's the control panel, which appears harmless enough. Trust me - based on the fine "detail" in the instruction booklet it'll take a PhD in Thermodynamics and Technical Application to figure this thing out :

(NASA™) Control Panel
Control Panel

See that LCD screen? The number on the right is the current temperature setting. The number on the left? Yah, that would be the current ambient temperature... after five hours running. Granted, I've eff-ed with it quite a bit tonight. And there has been a constant flow of 'cool' air from all the outlets. It's just not like my old, 30lb window A/Cs. Give those beasts 1/2 an hour on a 90° late July Saturday afternoon and you're sitting chilly. Just have to figure this thing out and adapt accordingly.

I only hope I can figure it all out by Thursday night and I'm well adapted by the weekend.

Oh, I just saw a pretty big spider cruising across my bedroom wall. Second one in a few weeks - and this one was bigger than the first. Like about an inch or more. Those mini, ¼-inch to ½-inch ones don't count. Creepy. In the family room is one thing but the bedroom? Super creepy. Imagine what might happen while sleeping. That thing was fast, too.

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