Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Calling a Spade a Spade

I noticed the other day a woman who sits around the corner from me in my office building is pregnant. Again. Now, I know she's married, so it's not some scandal or anything. However, it got me to thinking.

We see pregnant woman walking about us all the time. On the streets, in our offices, at the grocery, etc. As most people are aware of how, for the most part, a woman is impregnated it struck me. Might we have some built-in mechanism that defuses our "R-rated" thoughts on the subject? After all, with the overall puritan beliefs regarding sex in this country suffocating us (at least us openly talking about it; advertisers seem to have immunity on the subject), why are we so inclined to gloss over that how.

"ooh, congratulations!" we exclaim upon hearing the news. "Is it a boy or a girl?" typically being the next question asked, as if anyone gives a crap.

The thing with this particular woman in my office, however, is that this will be her third child... within about two and a half years time. Her THIRD ! Think about that. Over the past two and a half years, she's been pregnant for pretty much the entire stretch. Most people would call her a "working mother" but let's call a spade a spade here...

She's a WHORE ! for fuck's sake - get off your back for a minute, will you? Put your friggin' panties back on, fix your hair, and get back to work! We shouldn't be congratulating and asking which sex the baby might be... we should be asking, "Oh, at it again, were you?" and "Great job. Thrown open the gates again, i see. Thanks. Guess who'll be taking over your work while you're out on leave? Well done. Whore."

The inevitable, "When are you due?" question is really a means for us to do some quick math and think, "Okay, three months.... It's early May, so, that's October. Someone sure did get a treat, then, didn't they."

So, next time you see a pregnant woman... remember, it's not really a 'miracle'. pause for a moment and just imagine how it happened. that filthy wench was bent over the rail with her skirt up over her head, recently. And there's no hiding that fact. Congratulations!!


emetic sage said...

right -- am i supposed to care just because some bloke blew his beans up her muff?

Viszlát Sjáumst said...

thank you, emetic one, for your support on the subject. whore could be a tad over the top, i'll admit - but some bloke was still up to his nuts in guts at some point.